I Don't Know Where That Thing Has Been
by B. Alex Burke
Summary: What happened if Emily had called Ricahrd when she was arrested? &Inspired by S'Wonderful S'Marvelous& T just to be safe. A little crude inuendo... hehe


**Author's Note: This hit me after this past ep (S'Wonderful S'Marvelous) and.. well, here ya go!**

**Summery: What if Emily had called Richard?**

I, Emily Gilmore, was in jail for being harassed by an officer. What were they thinking?! My lawyer was going to hear about this.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, but who do you want us to call?" an other officer asked with a notepad and pen. Oh God... Who do I call? I thought. I would have look through my phone, but that was in my purse and my purse was behind the counter. "I... Um..." I stuttered, my finger rising to my chin. "My husband...?"

"Ok... What's his number?" The darker haired officer looked up at me, a look of impatience on his face.

"Oh, 352-2463." I replied quickly. Oh, he's going to be so angry at me. "No! Wait!" I tried to stop the officer, but he just picked up the phone and dialed Richard's number. Oh God... Richard, please be gentle. I thought, sinking down on the seat-like thing in my cell.

"Hello sir. This is Officer Klizcowski. You are Richard Gilmore, correct? Good. I'm calling about your wife and... Yes, she is alright. Yes, I'm sure...No, you can't talk with her sir." He hold the phone from his ear and I can hear Richard's shouts. He brings the phone back to his ear and says, "Sir, you can come get Mrs. Gilmore at the Hartford Police department. Yes sir.. Mhm.. Bye bye."

I looked at the officer, hoping my facial expression will let him know I want to know what Richard said. "Oh, he's coming to get you and is furious with the Hartford Police." he replied, sitting back down behind his desk and filling out paper work.

"Wonderful." I muttered, sinking back down on me seat.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

An hour later, my husband came storming into the police station, his fists balled and his face red. "Where is my wife?" he asked harshly.

"I'm here Richard!" I called to him, waving weakly from my cell. "Emily!" Richard went to walk around to me but was stopped by the man who arrested me.

"I'm sorry sir, but you have to pay her bail and sign her release forms." he said calmly.

"That is my wife you are holding in there and I am talking to her before I sign anything." Richard retorted, walking past the man and to my cell. "Emily... Darling, are you alright?" He toke my hands in his and held them firmly.

"I'm fine, Richard. Just get me out of here please." I replied softly. He nodded and walked over to the desk and signed my papers. (Lord, I never knew I would have papers that needed signing for me to be released anywhere) When the officers let me out, I walked quickly over to my husband in my socking-ed feet and smiled weakly at him. I took my shoes from the officer behind the counter and slipped them on while holding onto Richard's arm, then ok my purse and let my husband escort me to the car.

Once there, I pulled Richard into a tight hug and sighed. "Emily..." he whispered. "Are you sure you're alright?" I nodded and looked up at him. "I just wanted a hug." I said softly, smiling up at him.

"Alright, Sweetheart." he replied, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. "Well, lets get you home. I'll get you car tomorrow." Richard opened the door and helped me inside. I sighed and closed my eyes, savouring how comfortable the car was. Richard leaned over and kissed my cheek, then pulled my seat belt over me and buckled it. I grinned and looked over at him, my left eye open. "I love you." I whispered.

"And I love you." he replied, cranking the car and putting it in gear, then driving us home. I close my eyes for just a moment, then I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and lift me from the car. I opened my eyes to see my husband smiling at me as he walked us up to the house from the garage. I grinned and snuggled closer to him and let him carry me into the house. I felt my bed beneath me and opened my eyes again to see him crawling into bed next to me.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I woke up with half of my husband on me. I smiled and gently slid from under him, that action made a moan come from my lover's lips. "Emma..." he mumbled, his eyes opening slightly. "Where are you going?" He sat up in the bed and rubbed his eyes, then pulled me to him.

"I was going to go get us some breakfast, darling." I replied, kissing him gently on the lips. "And after that I was going to go get a shower." I smiled and curled up with him.

"That sounds wonderful, my love." he muttered, holding me close for a cuddle. "In a minute. I want to talk first." I instantly tense, not wanting to talk about why I was pulled over and arrested. "Emily?"

"Richard, I... I don't want to talk about it." I whispered. "It's embarrassing."

"It's just me." he replied, chuckling lightly. "You know you can tell me anything. Please? I just want to know why my lovely wife was arrested." Richard kissed my temple lightly and tightened his grip around me.

"I...I was talking on my cell phone and apparently that's illegal, and then he wanted me to blow his thing and I wouldn't do it so he - " I began but Richard interrupted me.

"He wanted you to blow his thing?" he said, quite surprised. "Emily, did that man try to force you to have oral sex on him?" I could tell my husband was getting angered and I quickly wracked my mind for the right word.

"Richard, no. No no... he wanted me to take a Breathalyzer test." I correct, my cheeks flushing lightly. "I didn't want to blow on the mouth piece."

"Oh.. Good heavens Emma." he sighed, kissing the top of my head. "I thought I was going to have to go beat a man for forcing himself upon you."

"No, I would have told you that in the police station." I laughed lightly and held him close. "Are we done? I... I really don't want to talk about this anymore." He smiled and kissed my lips gently then nodded. "Yes, we're done. Now, what about that breakfast?"

I laughed and get u to go get out breakfast. Oh, what ever I did to earn that man's love and forgiveness over the past 42 years must have been phenomenal.

**  
Author's Note: How was that for a short little one shot? Bad? Good? Cahcah leh shit? lol... Well, leave a review pleasey. I would love them bunches and they make me want to write more. :D :P Thanks!**

**Branda**


End file.
